


In Memory Of

by innersanctuaries



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Hurt Sam Winchester, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 10:13:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15555486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/innersanctuaries/pseuds/innersanctuaries
Summary: Too many things bring back memories, especially the small ones.





	In Memory Of

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I'm still supposed to be working on the 10+ wips I have, but I've got this instead. This is really just whatever meager ideas my dying brain managed to get out, so have fun with that!
> 
> Song inspo is Hey There Delilah by Plain White T's 
> 
> (https://youtu.be/u3WC-cHzCHI)

 Sam always realized too late how much he loved his angel. Standing and toasting a victory in the bunker, he thought of how little it felt like they’d won. Whiskey burned down his throat the same way wings burned themselves onto the ground.

 

 When a bulb burned out in his room, he asked around to see if anyone had a new one hidden somewhere. He ended up walking through the store and finding the lightbulbs. The blue LED lights made him turn and walk away, his mind suddenly on a pale blue light going out in someone’s eyes. Sam got back to the bunker and realized he forgot to buy a bulb. He read his books in the dark with an ugly yellow flashlight. 

 

  It got warmer faster now that there were so many people there. The air conditioning broke down and he ended up walking through a different store looking for parts. Sam purposefully avoided the lightbulbs. A sales associate turned on a fan for him and for a second, he heard the flapping of three beautiful pairs of wings. Dean yelled at him for coming back empty handed and walked out to get the parts himself. 

 

 They ran out of honey and Sam told Dean to go get it himself. He wasn’t ready to think about the sweetest gold eyes he’d ever seen. 

 

 Lucifer’s quips only made him drive the archangel blade into him deeper. He wasn’t an archangel, but Jack’s hand was holding the knife with him. The light bursting from the Devil’s eyes brought him so much relief. That night he sent out a prayer to the archangel Gabriel. He told him they’d won, he gave a tearful apology that they’d killed both of his older brothers. Sam promised they’d had no choice, and he knew that Gabriel would agree. 

 

 Sam went to the store for groceries, and Dean made him promise to actually bring something back this time. On his way there, he heard whimpering in an alley and investigated. He found a corgi puppy cowering in a corner, big amber eyes looking up at him and melting his heart. Dean was pissed when he came home with a dog instead of food. Sam fell asleep with a puppy curled up on his chest. 

 

 Jack opened the portal again, and some people went back home. Sam said goodbye to Mary. Everyone knew she was happier there than here. For the first time in a while, Sam cried for Gabriel. He needed the unexpected softness of his voice promising that it’d be okay. That night he lost his mom a second time.

 

 Someone brought Gabriel’s body back, he wasn’t sure who. Nobody knew where he went, but he ended up in a clearing somewhere. He spent the day building a pyre. Sam searched Gabriel’s pockets, unsure of what exactly he was looking for. He wasn’t sure about a lot of things lately. There was a long golden feather in the right pocket and a folded up picture in the left one. He opened it and folded it back up almost immediately, putting it safely in his own pocket. Sam prayed to the archangel Gabriel as he lit the pyre, whispering goodbye. The fire was hot, but he still felt cold.

 

Sam went to the store and bought a Milky Way bar. The cashier wrinkled her nose, and he knew it was because he smelled like smoke and death. He got into the car and unfolded the photo in his pocket, throat tight and eyes stinging. Unwrapping the candy bar, he took a bite of it and started the car. He drove back to the bunker with a photo of him and Gabriel in one hand and Gabriel’s favorite candy in the other. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm emotional and this made me cry okay don't touch me
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed it! Please comment feedback, it helps keep me motivated and helps me know what you guys do and don't like!
> 
> Follow me on Instagram at @archangelica_angelica or on tumblr at innersanctuaries if you want to get in touch or just to watch me shitpost!


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